Sandra Flear BA, RelPsych(Dip.), E.S.T.,
Qualifying Member OSP, Member CAPT

You're looking for help. You're probably feeling angry, sad, depressed, anxious, lonely, numb, or a combination of some or all of these. Psychotherapy really helps. I know at first hand the power and transformative effect of being listened to, seen, and understood as you really are by another. I've experienced it myself and I've seen many people change because of it, often before my eyes. Being listened to and appreciated are basic human needs, and these are things that most of us don't have enough of. It's difficult to exaggerate their potential for improving the way we feel, and for increasing our understanding of ourselves and other people. It is the single most transformative thing I have experienced, taking me far beyond where I was to places I couldn't have imagined, and this is why I became a therapist.

I see psychotherapy as a process of finding and uncovering the basic healthiness or sanity that we already possess, that we were born with. I believe that our most basic nature is one of openness, clarity and warmth. Becoming aware of this part of ourselves can bring much wisdom, confidence, meaning, and beauty to our lives. It also means that we are workable just as we are. I believe in this basic healthiness because I have seen it in myself and in others.

Uncovering our basic healthiness and manifesting it in our lives can be difficult and confusing. I offer my companionship, attention, and perspective as you go through the process of becoming more aware of and comfortable with more aspects of your experience. I also offer you the opportunity to practice being in relationship in new ways. You may explore in our relationship new behaviours and ways of being with another in a safe and honest way.

I help support people to feel and express their joy, pleasure, victory and calm as well as their rage, grief, loneliness, and despair. Being aware of and increasing positive feeling has just as much a place in therapy as the necessity of expressing and healing the difficult emotions. My aim is towards greater aliveness and connection, whatever the person's circumstances or emotional state. This means opening up to what was, if that needs to be felt now for the first time, and to what is now. To feel it, incorporate it, let it wake you up, but to come to know that no experience is who you are. It is all just experiences you've had. Self-acceptance is at the heart of my practice - what I most hope to help nourish and grow in the people I work with.

The most important resource I offer as a therapist is my own success in struggling with the legacy of a difficult early life. I know what it is like to experience long-lasting anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress. I also have experience with chronic illness, divorce, and single parenting. These struggles have given me the emotional strength to be with others when they are suffering, in-depth understanding of the inner landscape, and an appreciation of the difficulty and beauty of being alive. I also bring a keen appreciation of humour, a tender compassion, and a passion for getting to the "heart" of things and for creating a healing connection.

My training as a psychotherapist was at the Toronto Institute for Relational Psychotherapy, and I have also completed training for the treatment of trauma through the Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute, as well as some training in expressive arts through ISIS Canada. These brought me a great appreciation for the importance of a connected and collaborative relationship between therapist and client, as well as the importance of working with the non-verbal and somatic aspects of our experience. I have a passion for including body experience and mindfulness in therapy sessions. These help create a connected and safe way to come closer to ourselves, as we are ready, which is where we will find our greatest source of wisdom and strength. We ultimately need to learn to turn toward ourselves, to our own wisest self, to know what is true for us and what we need to do to live fully. I would feel privileged to be a part of that journey with you.

Please enquire by email if you would like to find out more. Here is the map to my office in Roncesvalles Village, near High Park.